You just came out from a very throbbing heart ache, after failed dates and failed attempts of commitment; there you are eating dinner alone, watching chick flicks with no one to exchange views with. It is a very depressing state, so they say. But do you really have to jump into a new relationship one after another? Have you let yourself heal once and for all? Do you always feel the need to be loved by another just to be secured? Then, you should think first before you make any bold steps.
Entering into a relationship just because you feel least valued when you are single is a wrong notion. The need for someone to fill up the gaps of your missing self or to let someone else pick up where your ex lover left off will also not make any good. Having a partner will not cover up your insecurities in life. Partners are designed to be a companion in life’s ever changing dramas, and not as someone to fill in with all the things missing in your life. A fallback relationship will just worsen everything.
These are issues you have to deal with yourself. And no one can you help you in that matter, but yourself alone. After a breakup you should let yourself wallow, and find your losing self once more. You hold your happiness, thus you should never depend it on anybody else. Some are happy with their single lives and are secured with what they have. Love should be the main reason why a person binds himself to another. Pursuing a relationship means that you love the person, not because you want to feel loved. The right person will come to you, the moment you are ready to open up yourself once more and be able to love like never before.
They say you can never be friends with your ex, while majority agree on this premise, some just don’t. Most people have the idea that being friends with an ex only means two things, either they still have unsettled emotion that needs to be straighten out or they never loved each other at all. Complicated as it may sound, but others find it easy to regain friendship after a hurtful break up. It may be too far fetched for some, but others can make it possible and just make it seem okay. But how do they do that? Are there really no strings attached? Are there really no unfinished business? Is it just for plain friendship? We may actually never know. We may have experienced being friends with our ex lovers, or we maybe drawn in the other side that we make it hard to really have friendly connections with our ex lovers.
It works for some, so why wouldn’t it work on you? We may not understand their reason, but they did not make that choice to be understood by the people surrounding them. And I think that what is important, the certain understanding you and your ex have. You want to be friends with your ex, and then go ahead; you are big enough to make decisions for yourself. That is, you have to be prepared for the consequences of that decision. They may doubt you on this, or think that you are not over your ex, just let them say what they have to say, you don’t live to please them anyway.
Basically you have first developed friendship way before you developed romantic connection, so I believe it wouldn’t be too hard to go back to that zone of friendship. But of course, there are certain things you should consider; first and foremost if the relationship you have was not too destroyed to at least regain what is left, this is important, a broken relationship is hard to mend again. Also to be considered are the circumstances surrounding you, if it would be too impossible to share friendship again, then don’t insist. Maybe it is for your own good that you separated ways. Remember, everything happens for a reason, you may not know what that is now, but surely when all else is clear, it will come to you.